I Don't Wanna Wait
by Black-Angel-001
Summary: Preqal to 'Little Angel'. How Serena met the boys. Mamaru's back and he's looking for revenge. Discontinued
1. Merry Meet and Merry Part

**I Don't Wanna Wait**

**Black-Angel-001: this is my prequal to "Little Angel" and i want you to enjoy it. maybe it will explain a few things. also, there is a sequal i'm putting up called "Golden Moon and Silver Stars" enjoy that too!**

**I Don't Wanna Wait**

How in the world had he ended up here? He hadn't wanted to come to a hospital, yet somehow he had. His left arm throbbed in pain and his head was just a little fuzzy from sedatives. Prusian eyes narrowed as he remembered. That guy had shot him. What was his name? Oh, well, he'd think of it in a second. Heero tried moving, biting back a groan. Slowly and carefully he began to unhook the machines that were connected to him.

"If you don't stop right now, I'll hit you with this plate," a female voice said in a warning tone.

Yuy looked up. In the doorway was a young girl no more than his own age with blonde hair pulled back into two tight looking buns. Little curls of hair hung around her pale face which held amazing blue eyes. Whisps of silver colered her hair to give an incredible effect of silver and gold. In her hands was a tray of steaming food. She wore a white nurses uniform. Heeor went still.

"Now, lean back and relax," the girl said as she came near him. He didn't move. Sighing in frustration she roughly pushed him back, never minding his wounded arm. Heero hissed in pain. She gave a short laugh as if he deserved it. Methodically she rehooked the wires. Her gaze flew over his body before finally resting on his eyes. Gesturing to the tray, she spoke again, this time in a gentler tone.

"Do you think you can manage?"

"Hn."

"Alright then."

Instead of leaving, the woman actually sat him up, took the fork and shovled some green peas onto it, holding it to his mouth expectantly. Heero stared at her, amazed without it showing. He had meant for her to leave, not spoon feed him!

"Mr. Yuy, I am not leaving until you eat whatever you can on this plate." Her eyes sparkled with amusement and seriousness. "You gave no idecation as to wether or not you can eat by yourself, and 'hn' is no answer. So, open."

"I can handle this myself."

She studied his face, put the fork down on the plate and set that before him. Patiently she waited. Heero put the food into his mouth and chewed slowly. A nod of approval came his way. For some reason, that meant the world to him.

"I'm Serenity by the way." She commented after a few minutes of checking things over. "Call me Usagi though. Or Serena, whichever you prefer."

"Why are you named for a rabbit?" The words were out before he could stop them.

"My hairstlye. Papa thought it was 'unbecoming' a lady of my stature. My sisters and brother, however, like it." Usagi looked over her shoulder. "Sorry about hurting you earlier."

Heero didn't bother to reply. She prattled on about her family and such, not really caring if he replied or if he didn't. Then she asked a question that shook him just a little.

"What about you? Where's your family?"

He studied her thoughtfully. No one had asked him anything like that before so he had never considered. He had always been too busy with training and missions to stop and think about it. So, he answered truthfully to tell her so. The sky blue eyes grew big with surprise and pity.

"You have no idea who you're family is?" He didn't answer. "I'm sorry, I wouldn't have gone on like that if you had told me." Her smaller hand covered his and he flinched. Heero was not someone used to human contact and frankly, he didn't want it right now. But her touch was warm and gentle, loving even. As if he knew what love was. Usagi's hand pulled away, startled at his reaction. Sudden cheer lit up her face, huge smile forming on her lips and reaching her eyes.

"Well, don't feel too bad about it" said the now merry nurse, "I don't really know who my family is either."

Heero quirked an eyebrow. After the way she went on about her siblings, Heero could have sworn that she had many relatives. Serenity caught his glance. Quickly she cleared his tray away. "I was adopted when I was around three, so I don't actually remember much. But," her face went downcast, "I remember that my home was very beautiful and the stars were so close. I felt that I could touch them. Earth was like a beautiful blue crystal ball and you could see the storms if you stood in the right spot." She shook her head as if to clear away the thoughts. "Then again, that could just be a girl's imagination." She headed towards the door. "I'll be in tonight to check on you before I head out, okay?"

Heero didn't see her again that night.

**Black-Angel-001: alright! hope you enjoyed that somewhat. if you couldn't tell, that was when heero got put in the hospital because duo shot him and then got him out. review for me!!!!!**


	2. And Merry Meet Again

**I Don't Wanna Wait**

**Black-Angel001: UPDATED! WOOHOO, FINALLY! THANKS FOR ALL THE PATIENCE!**

**I Don't Wanna Wait**

"Yahoo! Time for the circus!"

Quatre Winner laughed. That's the only thing he could do; his sister's joyful celebration of attending a circus for the first time was entirely childish for a fifteen year old girl, yet so much like her. Serena happily dragged her older brother to the tent entrance, hoping to get a good seat. Once that was accomplished, she waited anxiously for the show to begin.

The rumors were true-L3's circus was fabulous, the performers flawless. Acrobats kept the crowd in suspense with their gravity defying stunts; horse riders' wowing everyone as they stood in the saddle, clowns got roars of laughter for their pranks. All too soon, though, it had to come to an end; but not before one more breath-taking act.

Catherine Bloom was clearly at ease in the spotlight, her beautiful red costume glittering. In her hand she held five throwing knives, four more at her hip. The other side of the ring was dark, shadows covering her target. A sudden light came on and there stood her object. A large, circular board stood upright, colors of red and green painted on it. Multiple holes were also there, indicating the long use of it. But that wasn't what shocked the crowd into silence.

A young man of seventeen was strapped to the circle, half of a clown mask covering his face. He appeared confident and unafraid.

"Oh no Quatre!" said a frantic Serena. "She's going to kill him, I just know it!"

"I don't think so Sere," was calm reply. "They must have practiced this, so I'm sure they know what they're what they're doing."

Serena was not reassured.

Catherine looked at Trowa. When he nodded briefly, she let loose her first knife. It hit right above his left arm. The show ended quickly enough, silence being the only sound in the big top. All of the sudden Quatre clapped. Then everyone roared his or her approval. Catherine and Trowa took their bows and left, the ringmaster giving his closing remarks.

When Serena had been younger, her favorite game was hide-n-seek. Quatre hated it, but had humored her because he loved her. Just because he tolerated it didn't mean he had to like it. For the tenth time since the show had ended, Quatre thought about killing Serena after he found her. Serena was a better at stealth that Duo, he sometimes thought, and he prayed the two never met. Once more he retracted his steps and at the same time tried to think of where she would go.

She knew he was mad. She knew it and felt really bad about it, but her curiosity was one of her worst faults. Oh, well, Quatre would get over it.

Somehow Serena had wandered to the lions cages, the great beasts lazily lying around. When they saw her, they went into frenzy, trained though they were; they were still wild animals with killer instincts about their territory.

Serena froze. The roars and growls of the lions were scary especially since she had never been that close to the animal before. Taking a deep breath of air she walked forward. All senses screamed at her- this was dangerous, they cried, turn back! Her feet kept moving. Soon enough she began humming a tune; nameless but familiar. The lions were unhappy with her persistence and ignorance.

Now only a few feet away from a female lion, She started singing softly but soon grew into a gentle tone loud enough to be heard over the growls. Oddly enough, it was Japanese. One by one they calmed but still held her gaze, watching her every movement. Serena sang the same song in English. A small smile on her lips, she cautiously moved to put her hand out to pet one. Strong arms grabbed her, spinning her around and pushing her to the ground. Startled by the sudden movement, the lions started acting up again.

Trowa straddled the girl's waist, gathered her wrists in one hand and held them above her head. His other hand was over her mouth. The girl struggled wildly in an attempt to get free, fear of what he might do reflecting in her eyes. Trowa shook his head. Why would he do that? It was vile and disgusting.

"Look, I'm not going to hurt you," he said. The struggling ceased for a second. "I'm going to remove my hand and you are going to tell me who you are and what you are doing here. Don't scream, okay?"

She hesitated then nodded. Cautious, Trowa moved his hand away. Her face was red and sweaty. Taking in a deep breath, Serena prepared to scream. He took notice, however, and slapped his hand back on her mouth. He looked annoyed.

"I told you not to scream."

Serena flashed him a plain look of 'as if'. Trowa released a frustrated sigh. "Alright. Just tell me your name." His hand moved.

"Let me go," she whispered angrily.

"Nice to meet you Miss Let me go."

"No you moron, that's not my name." It was funny, just a little.

"Then what is it?"

Someone else answered that question. Serena's head moved so she could see who had spoken her name. Her face became red. Quatre stood gaping at his friend who sat on his sister, both seemingly looking guilty. Trowa quickly got off her, holding out a hand to help her up. She accepted it.

"Uh, hi Quatre," Serena stumbled as she shook dust from her hair and clothes.

"What were you two doing?" Quatre's fury was calm; his scariest state of anger.

"Um..." Serena looked at Trowa for help. Thankfully, he would not leave her hanging.

"I found her bothering my lions," he explained, "since I had no idea who she was, I handled it the way I thought was nessacary. If I had known that you knew her it would have been different."

Quatre nodded and walked forward. Serena whimpered and inched closer to Trowa hoping for his protection.

"You don't have to be scared," Trowa whisphered.

"That's a laugh. You've never seen Quatre like this," she whisphered.

"Thank you, Trowa, for finding my sister," there was a definite edge in his voice.

"No problem." Trowa's reply was confident and so was his movement as he walked away. Over his shoulder, Trowa added "I'll contact you later." Quatre didn't respond. Instead, he stared at Serena who stood on trembling legs. Finally he sighed, running his fingers through his blonde hair.

"Let's go Sere."

"Quatre, I'm sorry for..."

"Don't worry about it," he inturupted. "I'm just glad you're okay and was with Trowa and not some other idiot."

Serena smiled but frowned as a thought crossed her mind. "How did you know him? Uh, his name's Trowa right?"

Quatre nodded. They boarded the shuttled to earth and sat patiently for take off. The whole time, Quatre told Serena all he could.

"I see. So, he's a pilot like you." It wasn't a question.

"Perceptive."

They chatted for a while until Serena fell asleep. While she snored quietly he thought.

When they arrived back home, Serena went to take a bath. Quatre was greeted by a very nervouse servant when he came upon the doors to the library.

"What's wrong? Are you okay Mr. Johnston?" Quatre asked, genuinely concered.

Unlike most wealthy people, Quatre treated all employee's fairly and like family. Everyone who worked for him admired and respected him.

"Well, sir, I..." Johnston stuttered. Giving up on speech, the man thrust an envelope at his employer. Bewildered, Quatre took it and read. It was an invitation to a party that Princess Relena of the Sanq Kingdom was holding. He and his family were asked to dress properly. Normally, Quatre would be okay with this; he was usually invited to political gatherings. The only problem was that the party was tonight.

"When did this come?" Quatre wasn't angry, Johnston thought with relief.

"Almost two weeks ago today, sir."

"Okay, I'll need a suite..."

"Rosie has something laid out for you and Miss Serenity," Johnston said hastily.

"Thanks. And don't worry about this-everyone forgets."

Johnston was very relieved.

"Why should I have to go?" Serena screeched.

"Because you were asked," a tired Spanish woman replied hotly. "Now, stop the childish act and act the proper woman you are."

Serena shut her mouth but her thoughts burned. Why did Relena have to include her? Serena respected the girl, but her pacifism stick had huge holdes in it. Rosie chuckled softly at her. The old woman knew her better than she knew herself, as she had clearly read her thoughts.

For some reason, Bunny suddenly found herself thinking about the boy who had been in her care for a very short time. The hospital had blamed and accused her of helping him get out. Of course that was a load of BS, but the doctors were too big-headed to realize that and look at the evidence. The look in his eyes had been intense, yet somehow calming, like he could fix any problem.

"Lady get your head out of the clouds and get dressed," Rosie scolded lightly. Almost in a dream Serena did as told.

her dress was a beautiful white silk, the material hugging her curves gently. A string of beads covered a certain area of her upper arm, the poofed sleeves hanging beautifully. Her shoulders were bare, the decoration of her dress amazing gems in a design that none could understand. The bow at the back was shaped to be like butterfly wings. A light mist of lily perfume and she was ready. Beautiful dangling earings, also white, was her only accessory.

When Bunny reached the botton of the stairs, her smile gre huge. She'd always sworn that if Quatre wasn't her brother (and technically, he wasn't) then she would marry him. That thought returned and her heart swelled with pride. Quatre's suite was simple, but he didn't need any sort of extremes; he always looked good. His jacket and pants were a dark blue to counter his bright blue eyes. His shirt was white and his tie was a brighter shade of the jacket. Serena practically ran to him, a feat not easily accomplished in heels.

"You look great," she bubbled.

"Thanks." He looked her over. "You, however, look terrible." He faked disappointment. "Too bad."

"That is the last time I compliment you Mr. Winner," she said snootily, head high. The siblings burst into laughter.

"Really though Sere, you are beautiful."

"Thank you."

Arm in arm they walked out the door and to the car, both thankful to be at home.

Relena politely shook hands with the people that she had to, giving a small smile and a polite word every now and then. Her eyes scanned the crowd and guests as if to make sure they were comftrable, but she was really looking for one person. She didn't find him, but the Winners were coming. Relena gritted her teeth. Quatre was very sweet and she liked him alot but his "sister" was very annoying. Serenity was smiling and telling Quatre some funny story since he gave a short laugh. Relena envied the way men looked at Serenity. Would he look at her like that? God she hoped not. The pair approached her in a now reserved manner. Serenity gave a short curtsy while Quatre kissed Relena's hand.

"Thank you for inviting us Your Highness." For some reason it was strange to speak the words. Serena frowned as a memory flashed across her eyes. Her head felt suddenly light, her body feeling like something was missing.

"Miss Winner? Are you alright?" Relena asked. Once upon a time the two had been friends. That friendship shined through once more. Serena smiled gentily.

"Yes, Princess Relena." Serena walked away. Now she felt uncomftrable. Her brow knitted together, Serena looked for the source of her discomfort. In the corner of the huge ballroom, a young man, strikingly handsome, stared at her. He licked his lips and began moving in her direction. Now just a little frightened Serena tried to find a safe place to get out of his sight. Blindly she walked in a general direction until she bumped into someone.

"I'm so sorry." The person grabbed her shoulders to prevent her from falling, which she knew she would do eventually.

"Easy. C'mon, have a seat," the voice was calm and causual. Unusual for a politician. She sat down and looked up at who she bumped into. Interesting shade of blue eyes.

"Duo Maxwell at your service," he said with a kiss of her hand.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Serenity Winner."

His eyes grew wide with surprise. "Winner? You related to Quatre?" At her nod he grinned. "Shame on Quatre for keeping a pretty little thing like you hidden."

Serenity's cheeks turned a bright pink. "Call me Serena."

"Alright. So, Serena, why were you flying across the room?" Duo sat next to her.

"I didn't like the way a guy was staring at me," she replied feeling at ease with him. Duo's face went from merry to serious.

"Oh, really? What did he look like?"

She thought. "Tall, muscular, black hair, blue eyes." She shuddered. "They were like ice."

Duo remained silent. Looking around he called a man over, whispered in his ear and looked back at her.

"This is Wufei Chang, a friend of mine. He's a big time woman hater, but he also hates the mistreatment of them. He'll keep you safe." Nodding to Wufei Duo left to find Heero or Quatre, preferably both, in the crowd.

For a long time the two just sat in silence, Wufei starring at nothing. Serena studied the boy in front of her. Wufei Chang was no boy. He had alot of weight on his shoulders, a heavy burden on his heart and consious. His face was noexpressant but his eyes told a horrible story. This was one person who understood lose.

"What are you starring at?" he said, no unkindly but clearly upset with her silent stare.

"You." Serena strained her gaze to match his. She felt important in his preseance yet at the same time felt the urge to show him that she would not tolerate anything less that respect.

Wufei had to admit, she was brave to challenge him like this. "Why? What do you find so interesting about me?"

Serena didn't miss a beat. "Your expressions, body language, you tones. I'm studying you."

"And what have you learned from your 'study'?"

"Your body language is both offensive and defensive at the same time, which is weird. Most people are one or the other. Your expressions scream diffrent things. Like right now," she said with a satisfied smile, "you hate the fact that I can read you so easily."

"Very good."

Both looked up in surprise. There stood the man Serena had been on the run from. She shrank a little under his gaze. Feeling suddenly foolish for acting like a child who's scared of the monster in her closet she squared her shoulders and lifted her head. Serena looked him square in the eye.

"Chiba Mamaru. May I have this dance Miss...?"

"Winner," came the cool reply. "And yes you may."

Taking his hand she rose gracefully. Wufei stood quickly, his chair tipping but not falling. Grabbing Serena's arm he told her something quietly in her ear. She replied the same way. soon, Serena and Mamaru had walked of to the dance floor.

"Shit," Wufei muttered. He moved around to keep the girl in sight.

It took 15 minutes for Duo and Heero to find Wufei again; both pilots were highly pissed at Fei for letting her go. when they looked around they realized that the two were nowhere to be seen. All three cursing the boys took off.

Serena staggered around the garden of the palace, her mind foggy. The bastard had put something in her drink. Footsteps were behind her and before she could react, a fist hit her face knocking her to the ground. Shocked and now somewhat able to think clearly she looked up to see Mamaru standing over with a grim but satisfied look. She scooted backwards in a pitiful attempt to get away.

"Where ya goin' babe? This is a party, lets have some fun." His words were slurred against each other.

"No," she whispered. Turning she stumpled to her feet and tried to run but the grass made it difficult. Mamaru pushed her down then turned her on her back.

"No!" Serena said louder. Vainly she kicked and clawed. But he was drunk and stronger than her so it was a very task for Mamaru to hold her down. With one hand he tore at her dress. Serena screamed.

Heero frowned. Barely audible over the party he thought he heard a female voice. Walking toward the windows he listened. There it was again. His gut clentching Heero had time only to get Duo before going to at a dead run. Bewildered gazes followed him.

Silent tears of pain rolled down Serenity's pale face. Her body throbbed and hatred for the man atop her grew rapidly. Again and again he issued his violent love making until her body was numb and limp.

"Time for some fun," he groaned. Brandishing a pocket knife Mamaru held it close to her skin. Serena tried once again to get away but failed, his body pinning hers down. In a final burst of hope that someone might hear her, Serena screamed for him to stop.

Amazingly enough, he did. But not by his own will.

Relena cursed her long dress. Serenity was in trouble and Relena might not be able to help her. If he hurt her...the princess stopped short. Heero sent a fist flying into the idiots head with enough force to give him a one-way trip to the ground. Duo was leaning over Serena, his jacket going over her chest. The top half of the dress was tord down to her waist, the bottom in better shape but not much. Duo faced her.

"Relena, get your ass over here!"

At the moment Relena didn't care if he damned her to hell. Sparing a glance at the two men fighting, she saw with satisfaction that Heero was beating the shit out of Mamaru. Serena was strangly calm considering what she had gone through. Relena held her friend until Heero and Duo, who had gone to have a share of the action, came back. Gingerly Heero picked Seerna up. Paramedics met then halfway. One went in Mamaru's direction but was stopped by Duo.

"Leave him. He needs to die for this."

The med nodded and followed the group. Chiba Mamaru almost died that night. Well, who cares!

Black-Angel-001: WHEE! DONE DONE DONE! ((jumps around like Gollum from LOTR)) extra long for lack of updating. REVIEW AND I'LL BE HAPPY!


	3. No, Yes, Yes, No Which is it?

**I Don't Wanna Wait**

**Black-Angel-001: the only reason this is up in replace of the other one because frankly, i can't think up angst right now...uh, anywho, this is hopefully better than the other one.**

**I Don't Wanna Wait**

Heero paused before opening the door of his apartment. Something was strange about this. He pulled his gun, waited a bit, and then opened the door, not so surprised to find it unlocked. He snuck in quietly, his gun lowered and cocked. Someone was cooking chicken and a green bean caserole. He turned the corner in a swift motion and grabbed the person around the neck, pulling the body close to his, gun put against his temple. He heard a soft cry and started. Heero saw the blonde hair and felt the soft body of a female tremble. He pulled back quickly after realizing it was Bunny. Her face was chalk white and her eyes huge, she swallowed gulps of air. Heero mentally cursed himself (he seemed to be doing that alot lately) and put his gun away. Without a word she turned back to her chicken frying on the stove. It was done. Still refusing to look him in the eye she took a plate from the table. Heero noted with some surprise that the table was set, every fork and spoon in its proper place. There was even a candleholder full of candles that he didn't even know he had. All of a sudden the all important question popped into his mind: Why was Bunny here, in his apartment?

"Time to eat," she said quietly. Heero nodded.

The meal went on in silence, neither caring to say much. To be honest, 01 hadn't thought the girl's cooking would be very good, but it turned out that he was wrong. When he made mention of it, Bunny nodded in reply and continued eating. Heero frowned but said nothing more.

After they ate, Serena began clearing the dishes to wash them but Heero did it instead. When she looked at him questioningly, he responded with, "You've cleaned up enough, it's my turn now." Serena didn't object but settled down on the couch with one of Heero's novels. He sat on the other end, keeping his distance just in case.

"Why are you here?" he asked. It was bugging the hell out of him not knowing.

"Quatre sent me here because he figured I'd be safer with you than at home," she replied absently without looking up from the book. "Is my presence bothering you, Mr. Yuy?"

Okay, so now she was acting cool to him. Wait, what had he done to deserve that? "No, you aren't bothering me. Safer from what?"

"That bastard who was..." she took a deep breath, " at the party that night."

He remembered that night. Hadn't gotten the satisfaction he'd thought he would have from beating the shit out of that guy, but he was still young so he could kill the guy any time he wanted. Heero knew Bunny was waiting for him to say that she had to leave. Instead he got up and walked to his room. He came back a few minutes later with a few of his clothes and nessesities.

"You're sleeping in my room, I'll take the couch. If you need anything and I've got it, use it. Don't worry about asking unless it's locked up. If you need something and I don't have it, tell me and I'll get it. If you're here alone keep the door locked and don't answer it or the phone. Are we clear?"

"And I suppose that I shouldn't talk to strangers either?" Bunny asked him teasingly.

"Let's not take it that far. You don't need to stay up too late."

"Look, I'll take the couch. I don't feel right taking your bed."

"Don't worry about it, I've slept in places that were worse," he told her in his usual tone of voice.

"I am going to worry about it. I can take the couch and you can keep your bed. I insist that you sleep in your own bed."

"You are sleeping in my room; after one night on that thing, you will want to sleep in a bed."

"I highly doubt that," sniffed Serena. "So, now that that's settled, time for bed."

While Serena was settling down in the couch, Heero stared at her back. In a sudden desicion he grabbed Serena's waist and carried her to his room. From there, he proceeded to 'place' her on his bed. Serena's face was flushed. Heero crossed his arms over his chest.

"You ARE sleeping here while you're staying with me and THAT IS FINAL."

Serena imitated him. "And if I decide to get up?"

"Then we do the process all over again."

She smiled inside her head and stood up, intending to move to the door but found herself in the same position as before, Heero once again towering over her. "How many times are we going to go through with this?"

"Don't know yet." Serena supressed a giggle from escaping her lips.

**Black-Angel-001: so sorry for this but i couldn't stand that other one.**


	4. A Depressing Talk

**I Don't Wanna Wait**

Three weeks went by. Heero and Serena got along alright, neither actually saying much to each other, but not really remaining completely silent either. One day, during the middle of the fourth week and when Serena was alone in the apartment, Duo visited. Even with the rule of not letting anyone in the apartment, Serena thought it would be okay. Besides, Duo looked terrible.

"Are you okay?" She sat next to him on the couch.

"Sere, have you ever promised someone something but no matter how hard you tried, you found it hard to keep?" Duo stared at his hands, unsure and nervous.

"Well, yeah, everyone gets that sometimes. Why? What did you promis and to who?"

"When I was a kid on L2, a guy named Solo sort of took me in. He was like my older brother. Solo and some other friends of mine got sick from the plauge some political asswipes put out, and before he died, I promised him that I'd try my damndest to stay alive. Y'know, the whole make something of your life routine. Oddly enough, I promised Father Maxwell and Sister Helen the same thing."

"Duo, are you thinking about suicide?" Usagi asked quietly. Now he looked at her. His eyes were filled with a painful kind of humor.

"Sure, I think about it every time I get into that damn suite or go on a mission." He waved a hand at some invisible pest. "Do you follow some sort of faith?" She didn't know where the rosary had come from, but there it was, in his hands. Duo's fingers rolled the smooth beads slowly, lovingly.

"Not really, but I believe in God."

"Do you know what agnostic means?" Instead of waiting for a reply, he continued. "It's what you call someone who finds it impossible to know if God exists. I know what to do and say during a Catholic service, I know the prayers, I know almost all the aspects of the Catholic religion...yet, I myself am a bit agnostic."

"Duo..."

"So, am I going to Hell? If that's the case, I'm living it, so then what?"

"You are NOT going to Hell. Lots of religious people question their faith every now and then; it's why we keep attending services or whatever: to find answers for our questions."

"Serena, I'm not very religious to begin with."

"Then why do you carry that rosary?"

Duo's smile faltered for a moment. "You keep it because you want to believe in the faith that was taught to you."

They continued talking for hours, holding each other when one of them cried. Serena prayed with Duo before he left. After saying he would keep it touch, he walked out the door and disappeared with an ease of practice over the years. When Heero came home and discovered that Serena hadn't followed his 'orders', he wasn't very happy.

"Don't you realize that was dangerous? There is someone out there trying to kill you."

"He had to talk to someone Heero! Besides, when you go on a mission, dozens of people are trying to kill you."

"That's different."

"How? I can't see much of a difference." She slammed a plate of steaming food on the table. "Here, you go on and eat. I'm going to bed." With that decleration made, Usagi stormed to her room and forcefully closed the door. Heero rearranged the food on his plate but gave up on eating, locked up, and tried to ignore the muffled sobs and go to sleep.

**Black-Angel-001: took me long enough to type this up...**


	5. Dogs are Better than Guns

**I Don't Wanna Wait**

The regular rules and pattern of their lives changed after Duo's visit. Heero was somewhat more leniant, but that was about it. Where Heero was usually the only one who went out to get grocieries or something, Serena sometimes joined him now. She was 'allowed' to call and talk to Quatre (even if she had done that behind Heero's back). But, with the new 'freedoms' came new precautions.

"Why do I need a gun?" screeched Usagi.

The inside of Heero's head exploded in pain; he'd had a headache all week and the girls' screeching, yelling, whatever you wanted to call it, was not helping it. He kept his poker face in tact.

"Since you'll be going out more, you could run off somewhere without me. If something were to happen, you'd need protection," he replied smoothly.

"Then I'll buy a dog," said the stubborn female.

Heero's eyes narrowed a little. He didn't hate dogs, he just didn't think they needed one. "What would a poodle do? Bark until the person's ears bleed?"

Serena's eyes widened a fraction. "Heero Yuy, did you just use sarcasm? Hm, maybe there's hope for you yet."

Inside his mind, Heero wondered what she meant by that but instead said, "No, I just used logic."

"What makes you think that I'd get a poodle?" She folded her arms across her chest and gazed steadily at him. Heero was sitting across the room from her, in a kitchen table chair, typing on his laptop. He glanced at her for a split second, then returned his attention to the computer screen.

"I'm not sure. Would you?"

A delicate frown marred her brows as she thought. "Now that I think about it, no, I would not. In fact, I don't think I would get a dog. Too slobbery." Heero heard her pause. "Maybe a cat." He supressed a groan. That was even worse; a cat wouldn't be able to do hardly any protecting.

"All the more reason for you to get a gun," was the simple statement.

Her anger boiled again. "I don't even know how to use a gun!"

"I can teach you. There's nothing to it."

"Maybe not for a superhuman killer." She couldn't stop herself in time.

For the first time in four hours, Heero stopped typing. He looked at her, no emotion reading on his face or eyes. But he was hurt, Usagi could feel it. For the space of a few breathes, the two were locked in eye combat. Heero resumed typing, ignoring her.

"Heero, I'm so-"

"You are going to get a gun, you are going to learn how to use it, and that is the end of it."

She nodded, knowing he didn't care if she agreed or not. The last thing that was on her mind was to hurt him, but that's what she'd ended up doing. With a sigh Serena leaned her head against the couch and felt herself drift into a restless slumber.

_It was hot. Not a dry heat, but a smoldering heat, the kind that came with fires. Serenity ran down the great hallway, the normally white marble reflecting the golden orange flames that were engulfing the palace. Her mother, she had to find her mother. Mother would be able to make things better. Serenity lifted the smoke blackened fabric of her dress farther up, enabling her to run faster. Her silver hair flew behind her, still flowing gracefully even with her panic. Mother, where was her mother? She heard the screams of the unfortunate people that had not managed to escape the flames._

_The throne room was bright. Fire was eating the once beautiful drapes and other upolsteries. Smoke choked her and she coughed. "Mother!" she half screamed, half choked out. "Mother, where are you?"_

_Serenity heard a loud crack and looked up quickly. The ceiling was falling right on top of her. Instinctively she fell to her knees and covered her head with her small arms. She screamed for her mother even when she felt the heat of the fire against her pale skin, felt it burn. Serenity screamed over and over, wondering where her mother was and why she wasn't helping her..._

Someone was shaking her, calling her name. With a gasp Serena woke, bright blue eyes darting around. They rested on the face of Heero. His hands were on her shoulders, the warmth from his fingers penatrating through the fabric of her shirt. She felt the tears running down her face, heard herself cough to rid her lungs of the dream smoke. Her body shook from fright.

"Are you alright?"

Serena didn't answer for a while, she just stared at his face. He wasn't concerned or worried, he just had to make sure he didn't fail this particular mission. He asked her the same question again.

"Yes," she croaked out.

"You were screaming." He hadn't moved away from her yet.

"Was I? I'm sorry." She tried to laugh and was pleased to find that her voice didn't crack or she didn't squeak. "I'm okay now, just a bad dream."

Heero frowned. Usagi had to admit, the expression was too foreign, too strange for him. Duo had said that once he'd laughed, but she couldn't imagine that.

"You were calling out for your mother to help you," he continued.

"I told you, I'm fine. Nothing to worry..." Her stomach clenched. Pushing past him she fled to the bathroom, fresh tears streaming down her face in shame. Heero stood in the exact same spot he had been in when she came back. Her head felt funny, her balance shaky. In the next instant he was holding her up and putting a hand to her forehead.

"You've got a fever."

"Really? I wonder why..." Subconsiously she leaned her head against his chest, her body steadily growing limp. Heero picked her up, carried her to his room, and laid her down carefully on the bed. She mumbled something but turned to her side soon after. After a few minutes of watching her, Heero went into the kitchen to fill a bowl of cold water and attempt to lift her fever.

**Black-Angel-001: just something i came up with, what real purpose it has, i don't know**.


	6. Impulses Cause Mistakes

**I Don't Wanna Wait**

**Black-Angel-001: i could've used some more reviews, but at least i got reviews!**

**I Don't Wanna Wait**

It hadn't taken long for Serena to get better. Heero was amazed, needless to say. She'd had a fever of over 100 degrees, and the medicine she had taken wouldn't have gotten rid of her sickness; lowered her fever, sure. Even Sally Po was perplexed by it. Serena slept one full night, then was up the next day wondering about breakfast. Heero didn't ponder to long over it. There were things to do. Namely, outfit his charge with a gun and teach her to use it.

Trowa's circus was in town, so he dropped by to visit. Quatre, having heard about his sister being sick, had also shown up. The two joined Heero and Bunny on their trip out. However, there was a little problem: Usagi took forever to get showered, dressed, and her hair put up.

"I thought she might learn how to be faster and more efficient by living with you, Heero," Quatre mumbled.

"Ha, fat chance, bro," giggled a still slightly wet Usagi.

Heero had never seen her with her hair down; it was always up in some hairstyle, usually ondagos. She had yet to put it up, so it hung freely around her shoulders. It was longer than he had thought, past her waist and almost to her feet, the silver strands standing out in the dim light of the apartment. She was wearing a strapless sundress and white sandles. Heero had to wonder how she managed to brush it. She disappeared into Heero's room for a total of six, seven minutes, then came back, her hair braided loosly down her back. She also carried a floppy hat.

"Do you really find that necassary?" asked Trowa, pointing at the hat.

Bunny frowned. "Yes, it's hotter than usual today, and I burn easily." She pulled it tight on her head.

She was right about that, it was hot. Together they walked down the street, Bunny's arm hooked through Quatre's, Trowa and Heero walking side by side. When she brushed against a man with dark hair, she shivered, leaning more toward Heero than Quatre. Heero didn't register her actions, but knew what she did.

They arrived at a shooting range, a handgun already picked out and ready for Bunny to use. Heero had also gotten her a liscence and permit to carry a gun. Serenity didn't ask how he did it in so short a time, but she knew it had something to do with his computer and forging most likely. Quatre, deciding that he didn't like listening to the gunshots on his ''off'' days, left to find them a quiet little resturant for lunch. Trowa stayed to help Heero teach Serena.

"This is a Glock model 21. It's a .45 auto that's mostly used in law enforcement and carries a 13 round magazine," Heero told her while holding it out in front of her.

"If cops mostly use it, why do I have one?" Serena eyed it warily.

"Because a .45 is best when it comes to self defense and the smaller versions of this weapon hold less rounds."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"In your case? No."

Heero proceeded to show her the three saftey's, where they were and what to do with them. Then, after putting on the required goggles and ear mufflers, took her into the indoor shooting range and showed her how to hold and fire the gun. Serena did the same. Next, he showed her the better ways to aim before firing. He also warned her that she would feel herself jerk back because of the force of the gun. All of this had to be shouted so he could be heard over the many gunshots. Before long, Serena was practicing shooting, actually shooting. Her marks weren't that great, but Heero told her that she did better than most beginners, which was saying a lot. Serena smiled at his somewhat compliment. They bought more rounds and left.

Lunch was quiet, Quatre and Bunny catching up, Trowa making a comment, and Heero just going through his usual grunts and other noises.

"Oh, before I forget, I've got something for you," Quatre smiled.

Serena squealed in delight at the prospect of a gift. Trowa thought she looked like a small child on Christmas morning. Quatre pulled out a small box, wrapped in delicate pink and white wrapping with a bow. He handed it to her and Serena opened it carefully but hurridly. A velvet box. She opened the lid carefully and gasped. Inside was a beautiful crystal pendant. To her, it seemed as though there was a slight glow emitting from the crystal, and when she held it in her hands, there was a definite warmth flowing through her palms.

"Happy Birthday," said Quatre quietly.

Her birthday? Oh, that's right. Her birthday was today. She gave a huge smile to her brother and threw her arms around his kneck.

"Thank you, Quatre! I love it!" She pulled away after depositing a kiss on her brother's cheek. Serena cradled the pendant in her hands before slipping it around her neck. It nestled against her breast perfectly. Trowa smiled at the girl's happiness, and Heero wanted to smirk. He refrained from that action. Something was bothering him.

"I didn't know it was your birthday," Heero said simply and in his usual voice. Serena looked at him, her smile still there and her eyes bright.

"You never asked," she replied in a kind of sing song voice. That was true enough. So, why did he care? He didn't, he told himself firmly. He didn't care about what she did or did not tell him. After paying their bill, the three got up and began walking around the town for exercise. Bunny walked ahead, chatting happily with her hands clasped behind her back. Quatre and the others lagged behind slightly, talking.

"That looks like an expensive gift, Quatre," said Trowa.

"I know, but it's worth it to see her smile."

"You give in to impulses too much," commented Heero.

"And you don't at all, Heero," replied Qutre.

"What?"

"You don't give in to impulses at all."

Heero knew that. "To do so would mean making mistakes."

Quatre opened his mouth to say more, but Trowa and Heero never figure out what he would say next, because Serena was standing in front of them, her face inches from Heero's. He stopped so he wouldn't run into her and stared into her clear blue eyes.

"I'm sorry."

What? That was it? What was she sorry about anyway?

"For what I said the other day. Y'know..." her voice trailed off and she was clearly uncomftrable even repeating her words.

"Hn." Heero walked around her and continued.

Later, when they got back to Heero's apartment, Serena stated that she was going to get a bath and then go to bed. Heero didn't reply but instead sat down on the couch, turning the conversation he had had with Quatre. Acting on impulses did cause mistakes, mistakes that could cause lives to be lost. For some reason it bothered him that he didn't act on impulse, but why? Sure, some things required impulsive actions, but he couldn't think of anything at that moment...

Serena stepped out of the shower, steam and mist pouring around her body. It looked... _enchanting._ Heero could have slapped himself. What the hell was he thinking? He wasn't thinking. Serena ran her fingers through her wet hair, little droplets falling. Her nightgown hugged the curves of her wet body, her face flushed from the heat of her shower. She was saying something, but he couldn't understand it. Heero was having an impulsive action and wasn't sure on how to act on it.

"Heero!" Serena was inches from his face again. He blinked up at her. She was frowning. He could smell the lavender and jasmine on her skin. He wanted to shake his head to clear his mind from these thoughts, but he also didn't want to. Heero knew he was out of it.

"You haven't been listening to a word I've been saying, have you?" Bunny straightened and folded her arms across her chest, acting like a child in a tantrum. She opened her mouth to say more, but Heero acted on his impulse before she could.

Bunny felt his mouth on hers and was shocked, then confused, then frightened. She quickly forgot her fear and settled into the kiss. Heero pulled her body against hers and her arms went around his neck. Suddenly, Heer pushed her away and walked away, cursing himself. Serena stared at his back for a few minutes before going quietly to bed.

**Black-Angel-001: i thank glock for the information on the weapon ooohhhh heero was a bad boy! not really, but y'know!**


	7. Here Comes the Coward

**I Don't Wanna Wait**

**Black-Angel-001: i think heero has been added to a few hit lists...**

**I Don't Wanna Wait**

Neither party talked to the other much after the incident. Serena continued to have nightmares, mostly the same one over and over, and usualy woke up in a fever. As always, the fever was gone after a good night's sleep and eventually Heero just stopped doing anything about it, just making sure she got to bed and was comftrable. He worried about her, but that was the extent of it. Serena never found an occassion to use her gun, so she stopped carrying it around for a while.

One day, when Heero was out doing something dangerous and probably trying to get himself killed, Serena decided that she would surprise him. She had it all planned out in her mind: a nice dinner. Not at a resturant, since he really wasn't a people person, but a quiet dinner at home that consited of a few things he enjoyed but hadn't had in a long time. She smiled every time she thought about it. Eventaully, she worked up enough nerve to write a note, grab her purse and money, and go shopping. Her firearm was laying in her nightstand drawer beside her bed. Serena grabbed it, made sure it was loaded and the safty was on, then left. She didn't know why she had gotten it; it was just simple grocery shopping after all.

Delchamps wasn't more crowded than usaully, mothers mostly bustling about to get things for their own family for the next few weeks. It all seemed so normal it was boring. She had just made her purchases and was leaving when she ran into someone she'd rather have forgotten.

"Well, look who it is? How are you, my little rabbit?" He chuckled, leaning close to her.

Usagi moved away, shaking her head and trembling. She walked quickly away. Mamaru might have said something, but Usagi didn't catch it. Her thoughts were on getting home and praying for Heero to be there when she did.

She reached the apartment without trouble, began unlocking the door, and felt someone grab her from behind. She released a strangled cry, which was cut off when the same person punched her in the gut. Struggling for breath, Usagi fell halfway to her knees, Mamaru gripping her neck to keep her up. He smiled, probably the way the serpent did when he tricked Eve in Eden. After looking around the apartment briefly and determining that no one else was there, Mamaru dragged Usagi in, closing the door behind them.

Serena mangaed to look up at him, her breath somewhat regained. She was scared out of her mind, trembling, and worried about what Mamaru would do. The man smirked in satisfaction, clearly happy with the look in her eyes and face. Usagi scooted back as far as she could and for as long as she could, but Mamaru grabbed her arm, roughly pulling her up.

"Did you think I forgot?" he whisphered icily in her ear. Serena nearly gagged on his putred breath. "I owe you for putting me in prision."

"Why aren't you still there?" she managed. The grip increased.

"It's called good behavior. Now, why don't I pay back my dues." As he spoke, his hands roamed her body, tearing fabric. Usagi struggled and he hit her face. She stopped for the moment. Again, the same self gratifying smirk. He slammed her against the wall. She wanted to scream, but was too afraid to. Better to just let him do what he wanted and get it over with.

'No!' scolded a voice in her head. 'Are you crazy, letting this guy rape you? You know better! Fight! So you might get killed, but you'd die knowing you went down with a fight! Make the arrogant Heero Yuy proud! Put a shocked look on his face!'

Heero? Arrogant? Maybe not. If anything, he was lost. Tears stung her eyes. Mamaru's tounge was roaming her naked form now, while he was still fully clothed. She hated it, hated what he was doing. Why was he doing it? Usagi had no answer for that. She remembered the gun in her purse, laying nearby on the floor with everything else. She didn't want to, but if she could just get to it...

"Why so stiff honey? You like it, I know you do." He stuck his tounge in her mouth. She thought quickly, then acted.

She bit the hell out of his tounge.

Yelping, Mamaru lept back, spitting out blood. He looked at her with venom in his eyes and went after her. She dove for her purse. He dove after her. Usagi managed to get to her gun, but had a hard time getting the safty off and keeping her attacker from getting it. The safty came off, and three shots were fired. Serena's eyes were closed, but she felt and smelled the blood. She also felt the pain. She looked up, and saw Mamaru's eyes wide, his mouth parted slightly. He slumped over her. Withing moments, Usagi felt her head spin and saw nothing.

**Black-Angel-001: hah! an update! go me! -does a little dance- oh yeah!**


	8. Man's Road

**I Don't Wanna Wait**

**Black-Angel-001: now you find out what happened to our dear usagi! is that shithead darien dead? uhhhhhh...**

**I Don't Wanna Wait**

Strange. It was so cold. How? Why? Serenity shivered. Where was she? She wasn't sure, but it seemed like space. She wanted to open her eyes, but she was just too sleepy. Wait, if this really was space, then how was she able to breath? Was she even breathing? She didn't know; it didn't seem like she was breathing. Serenity tried to move her hand so she could put it to her chest, but was terrified to discover that she couldn't move her arm. She couldn't move her body nor could she make a sound.

"Is she really going to be okay? She's been asleep for a long time now," Duo asked wit a hint of worry. He, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei were standing around the hospital bed Serena lay on. In the struggle for the gun, apparently, she'd shot herself in the arm. The doctors said she had gone into shock, and that they didn't know what would happen until she woke up. One femal doctor named Mizuno said that Serena may stay in the shocked induced comma for days. This did not help the sense of worry the four were feeling.

Heero had yet to make an apperance. He'd been informed, of course, but he hadn't replied or anything. They had expected this, but had still hoped.

Quatre sat at his sister's bedside, holding her hand. He ignored everything around him but her; he only ate after Trowa told him that he couldn't help his sister if he himself was also in the hospital for lack of nourishment. When Quatre wasn't with her, Duo was. He didn't touch her, just stare at her, his eyes staying on her face, looking for some kind of movement, looking for something that said she would wake up. He whisphered prayers that he thought he had forgotten long ago. Wufei and Trowa kept a watchful eye out for Yuy, but most of the time they stood outside of Serena's bedroom. News of what happened had reached the press and they hoped to get a story. They checked out whoever went into her room before even considering about letting them in.

Heero sat leaned back in the relativly small cafe chair. He'd completed his mission a few days ago, but had remained to tie up loose ends. Now back in the city, he pondered what to do. He knew Serena was in the hospital, knew that the bastard Mamaru was dead at long last, and that the others wanted him to go see her. Why? What purpose would it serve him? Because Mamaru was dead, she didn't have to stay with him anymore. She could leave, go back to her home. Quatre had said in his message that she wasn't doing well, that she in a kind of comma. That didn't make sense to him. All she needed was a good amount of sleep (hardly even a night) and she would be better. Right? He didn't know, and that bothered him. Heero liked to be on top of things, to know what was going on around him to the smallest detail. The fact that he didn't in this situation puzzled and upset him. When he'd met Usagi, lived with her, he never knew what to expect. Her personality changed so much he had a hard time reading her.

He really should go and check up on her, make sure everything was okay. But then, it wasn't his concern what went on in her life anymore. The man who wanted to kill and hurt her was dead, so that mission was complete. Or was it? Part of that mission, to keep Usagi safe, was to make sure she didn't get hurt. She'd gotten hurt. In some way, Heero felt like he had failed. That irritated him. He never failed at what he set out to do. At least, he made sure he never failed. That was part of his training, as a pilot and a sharpshooter. You never lost sight of what you had to do and carried it out to the end with as few mistakes as possible. He frowned. What was he going to do?

Duo sat in the waiting room on Serena's floor. He was surprised that he was able to sit still, he'd been so edgy that he'd been pacing. Someone had actually asked him if his wife was in delivery. All he'd done in response to that was stare at the person till she went away. If only that were the case. A shadow loomed over him and he looked up. Lo and behold, it was the Perfect Soilder himself, his face as unpassionet as usual.

"Finally decided to show, huh?" Duo's voice wasn't in it's usual happy go lucky tone. He sounded miserable, depressed, and worried.

"I had things to do," replied Heero, his own voice betraying nothing.

"I'm sure. I actually think you didn't want to come. None of us thought you'd show up."

"It's not my business anymore." Heero remained standing. Where was this going?

"Then why are you here?"

Heero was asking himself the same thing. He didn't know. Instead of telling 02 that, he opted for silence. Duo released a humorless chuckle.

"That's priceless. The one guy who has an answer for everything doesn't have answer for one little question. J would have a kitten over this."

01 looked closely at Deathsycth's operator. His eyes were red and his breath smelled...

"You've been drinking," he stated matter of factly, wondering how Duo had managed to get in the hospital like that or if he'd snuck some in.

"Thought you'd never notice. Don't lecture me or anything; Quatre does a good job of that by himself."

"You should go home, get some sleep."

Duo's head should vigorously. "No, I can't leave until she wakes up."

"There's no point in denying your own body it's basic needs unless the situation is crititcal. This current situation is not very critical." Duo stared at him incredously. Heero was in that 'soilder mode' again, analyzing everything around him and molding it to fit his perfect world. If Duo had been sober, he'd have wrote it off as Heero being Heero. Not this time.

"Don't try to make Serena fit into your perfect analysis Yuy," Duo stood, wobbled, then regained his balance. He was just drunk enough to sound normal, even if he swayed. "It won't work. I told you I'm not leaving until she wakes up, and by God, that's what I'm going to do!"

"Why? Why do such crazy things for someone?" Heero never could understand that. He'd seen countless people jump in front of his bullets and die to save someone close to them or they respected, who only ended up dieing later anyway, wether by him or another person. It was a pointless gesture, especially if the person you protected didn't care in the end anyway. "It's not as if she holds any special meaning to you."

"Are you saying that I don't care about her?"

Heero thought. "Maybe you don't. Maybe it's something else. The fact that she's a comrade's relative."

Duo grabbed the front of Heero's shirt. A very stupid move, since Heero could probably snap his arm in three different places. Instead of doing anything about it, Heero just stood there. Duo was a few inches shorter that Heero, so he had to look down slightly. "Don't you _dare _tell me I don't care about her! I care about her more than you ever will!"

From the doorway, Wufei cleared his throat. Duo let go and both youths turned to look at 05. Clearly he'd seen most of the confrantation, but chose not to say anything about it. "Serenity woke up."

Black-Angel-001: oooohhh, did duo just make a confession of love? we'll see later!


End file.
